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"It has nothing to do with you."

Videos like this are just another reminder of how evil and vile these narcs are. 😞

My friend is trapped in a trauma bond im scared for him he tries to ignore her but she shows up at his house manipulation is how she hooks him in its never gonna end looks like they are the devil

Best solution is to leave these evil people alone. And hope that God judges them, he is the only One who can do it.

even when i didn't do anything, they would spread lies and do things to hurt you with a smile on their face ..yet boast about themselves because they could get away with it. It's people like these that makes workplace so toxic but bosses only warn them and do nothing else till all the talented people left and then it is too late

3:55 that is cruel for sure

These types of people should not be allowed to adopt children. I got adopted by bad people and the sad part is 2 other women from the same family adopted as well. They are saying their adoptions didn't work out. OMG we already lost family on both sides and have nobody. I feel better with no family😂🎉.

I had an acquaintance once who, no joke, literally used to post *several* selfies a day. To be fair sometimes they’d skip a day or two but it worked out as at least one-two selfies a day on average. And selfies comprised the vast majority of the posts they made so looking at thumbnails of their posts it was just rows upon rows of their own face with almost exactly the same expression and pose. Hey sometimes it’s fun to post the very occasional selfie if you’re feeling extra cute (a very rare thing for me personally) but I can’t wrap my mind around how anyone can think that posting not just one but *several* selfies a day is an attractive trait, no matter how “hot” you are. I think most people would get bored and unfollow if their fave celeb posted several selfies a day because that’s just excessive.

Honestly I like to think it’s divine guidance but I can’t help thinking it’s more that I’m finally just too old for this shit 😆 I’m just *too old* to be treated like I’m still a child at the age I am, not to really have any of my lived experiences acknowledged or treated like it even matters, coupled with the realisation that if they haven’t changed by now then they never will… I’m just over it, that simple 🤷🏻‍♀️

So true. There are so many narcissists in the medical field. Not just doctors, but nurses and administrators too. Doing 'good work' is the perfect cover for bullies. Certainly plenty of good nurses and maybe a few good doctors. But in my experience the majority are self-righteous, condescending assholes. Don't be intimidated by them. Be civil and calm and talk to their bosses if they are being demeaning or dismissive.

For the longest time I was able to deal with the cognitive dissonance of the mismatch between words and actions by 1) believing that *I* was in fact the problem in any given situation therefore I just needed to improve upon *myself* in order to finally see their empathic side in action and 2) assuming a sort of conditional/hypothetical view of them, like "they may not be acting overtly empathetic now but I'm sure they *would* if they felt it was appropriate/if they really needed to, because they're such a good person that they'd never just LIE, would they?" - thusly did I end up breadcrumbing myself almost into oblivion, until one day FAR too late in my life I wondered when the other shoe would finally drop. Spoiler: the shoe never did drop, and in fact never will drop, at least not until around a few minutes after the end of time, because they never had ANY intention of letting go of that damned shoe. I just wish that realization had hit me (unlike that stupid no-show shoe) years ago.

My narc ex wife took advantage of my special needs son who had stage 1 autism by drugging his water bottles and having her way with him while he was half out of it he has since talked to the police about these 4 separate incidents and always said if he moves back in she is moving out if he even comes over she is moving out. I shit you not! She didn’t want me to find out her gross actions.

The particular narc I have in mind is smart enough to have had me fooled for a long time because they have a long-standing reputation of being SO concerned and eager to help, but one detail about something they'd typically say eventually stood out to me. If they saw me being upset or just down in the dumps, they'd sometimes say "*big sigh*.......... do I need to worry about you?" DO I NEED TO worry about you... with just a few choice words turning an apparent show of genuine concern into an implied plea for me to stop emoting in their general direction so they wouldn't have to pretend to care about my feelings at an inconvenient time 🤦‍♀ The same person will also always, to this day, act like THEY are basically the solution to whatever problem I have, often offering to do things that have nothing whatsoever to do with the actual problem and isn't even something that I've ever expressed a need for help with, e.g. "let me clean/redecorate your house"/"come over to mine and let me cook for you"/"let me just sit here and stare at you silently willing you to stop the negative feelings and making me feel useless and ineffectual for not always being the cure for what ails you"... I started to feel like a bit of a dick for getting annoyed with them when they seemed like they were only trying to help me (there are intermittent periods of time when I'll have a full fridge and freezer of food they made that I never asked for or even wanted, they'll just suddenly foist it on me) but I eventually noticed that they will rarely if ever try to signpost me to someone or someplace else that actually could help me in some way, they only ever insist on helping me if it's something that THEY themselves can do directly and take full credit for. Clearly, "helping" is far more about meeting their needs than mine.

lol i have to say nthis ....i am going thru what you are saying as i watch the video you are definately on point thankyou for the knowledge and help

The guy i fell in love with refused to call his ex and tell her that he left her for me while I was listening to the conversation. But said he was not interested in her anymore i blocked him and don't talk to him anymore

That’s my ex wife 😂😂😂😂

Why are the narcissists do this???

This channel and its video comments are my lifeline. Thank You 🙏🏻 I am having a lot of difficulty accepting the reality that my ex-husband is a narcissist who never loved me and dealing with the final discard which happened in April after 14 months of hoovering only to obtain something very important from me. 8 days after he got what he wanted, he discarded me for the final time and I've been feeling like hell ever since.

I was with my X for 27 yrs narcissist

How do we survive this? How do I get over it? It’s been months

I do not ask Qs to get info I can use against a person. I ask a bunch of TOUGH questions to get to know them. I was married to a covert Narc. I'm not waiting 6 months or years to find out crap i wanna know up front. I have studied relationships and psychology for over 20 yrs. Why? As to be more AWARE and not repeat previous decisions. NOT everyone is out to take advantage of another. If you really understand karma you will never do HARM. I do not agree with everything she says.

As an empathetic person who is healing from codependency and narcissistic abuse I’ve let myself become comfortable with others thinking I’m cold hearted. It sucks, but for me it was necessary to protect my peace.

They certainly do have a healthy supply of go-to phrases to trot out when needed but in my experience one of their favourite "phrases" isn't exactly a verbal phrase but a particular noise like a sigh or some kind of weird facial expression which is presumably meant to *imply* one of their go-to phrases within the context of the interaction. This is equally infuriating because they're forcing you to fill in the blanks for them whilst maintaining plausible deniability... THEN if they're feeling generous/confident they might treat you to an actual verbal phrase or two!

If they give you the silence treatment, enjoy the peace 😂❤

Add subtitle please!

There are entire cultures of narcissists, they teach one another by example how to treat one another, my family is one of those examples. I am the scapegoat and the gossip has been intense and constant so I avoid all of them as much as I can. I don't share anything with family members.

I am listening to this for the second time and it is so full of everything I have experienced and continue to experience with narcissistic family members. They work hard every time I am with them, thankfully not often, at demeaning me in very subtle ways. Every single time we are together they make sure I know I am not worthy of love and respect.

I had the worst trauma bond with a functioning alcoholic! I went back to her at least 15 times in 2 years because of hope and potential. She always promised to get sober and I fell for it every time. We both loved each other but I had to leave to save myself so now I’m heartbroken 💔. And the worst part is I still want to go back to her but I just know I can’t

Female narcissist always take pictures looking to the side

Period

Thank you

After not liking the abuse and letting it be known then I'm told that ... I was pouting & she doesn't feel like walking on eggshells around me... WAIT! So I don't like the Neglect, Triangulation & Confusing Power Plays and let it be known that I'm upset, and now She feels like She's walking on eggshells 😖🤯🥴 BLAME SHIFTING 101! Never Admitting her cunning power plays... Super Thanks for Decoding this Narc 💩

Ah texting… she expects immediate responses, but when I do, she never replies back. So frustrating. Then she gets mad and says I didn’t answer. She just had the phone in her hand… how did she not see my reply? 😔

Wants a gold start for doing the dishes that I do 99% of the time, despite them still having food and fingerprints on the dishes and glasses. 😫

Take it from someone who has been through 2 relationships with a narcissist. You will NEVER get closure. I wanted it with the last one in January but learned it's completely impossible. Save yourself the time, energy and heartache.

I used to be friends with an ex CIA employee. They taught me how to catch the behavior of narcissist and from 1991-2004, I served federal time in Canada. I met serial killers that have no conscience. Some ex-girlfriends can be more dangerous than certain killers I did time with.

Always the most hard done by and eager to overshare it with anybody. I get to hear how the hard luck story of the day changes depending on who she's relating it to. Talking over... always "You know how I am, if I can't get what I'm thinking of out, I'll forget it". If she's unable to dominate the. conversation, she sulks like a child. EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY PEOPLE DON'T NEED YOU TO BE SORRY FOR THEM - 🎯 💯 Met online dating... 10 years older than me. I initially said I was not interested, but she was pretty persistent. 20 years later... I have regrets.

This is so strange. I recently had a friendship fall apart. One of the things that I noticed when we had any conflict between us was that she spoke to me like I was someone that she really didn’t like. It felt so odd - we had been such good friends. How could someone I had been so close to come across so cold and angry? I’m beginning to understand why… wow.

It took ten years for him to stop hovering.

I spent twenty six years in this hell storm.I just barely made it out.I had become so broken,and dysfunctional.I thank God for giving me the courage to take my life back.

15 yrs with a woman narcissist. Slowly chipped away my sanity turned fam against me. After all the truths came out post divorce even her father apologized to me for his daughters behavior... which if you knew ex father in law you'd know that was utterly shocking! Took a good 2 years of therapy to rebuild myself worth and heal big trauma from being mentally eviscerated. Be safe out there fellas/ladies. Boundaries and self worth are ok and allowed. :) Many blessings to all.

Something I don’t see addressed that I would love your input on is being an empathic boss with an employee who is manipulative. I am a recent new business owner with a contractor that is so manipulative, passive aggressive, cunning and deceptive. They use developing close outside relationships with the clients as a shield for herself from being held accountable. They’re incredibly lazy and find any reason to do below the bare minimum. If I address it they gas light me and use my empathy to manipulate me into believing I’m to blame for their unreliable behaviors. It’s incredibly difficult to navigate and the dynamics I normally see discussed are when a boss is being manipulative to an employee, not the other way around. And I understand that completely - I have never been a boss until now and the power dynamic there makes it way more prevalent in that scenario , I’m sure.

Oh. This whole reactive abuse thing. After 27 years of marriage, constant pattern of hubs lying and sneaking behind my back on various things large and small (which was silly in normal speak bc I reacted to the lies/ sneaking not to what was done and he KNEW it), I discovered that my hubs was taking the the bday money his parents sent the kids and depositing it in a private account of his own to finance his own hidden life. When I first suspected this, instead of confronting him I hid the evidence that I knew he'd be looking for (the kids' cards, with their permission because they were floored too when we found out), and waited to see what he did. Well, like an idiot I mentioned this to my mom (who I now know to be his flying monkey), and she says, "Well, it sounds to me like you just need to have a come to Jesus talk with him. I don't think you're handling it well by sneaking behind his back." Never mind that time after time he snuck behind mine, WHICH SHE KNOWS ABOUT...but it's wrong when I do it. And I'm not doing it to hide something from him like he does to me, I'm doing it to figure things out. Because believe it or not MOM, I know you think I'm an idiot, but I've TRIED come to Jesus talks about 769 (made up number) times before and he's never once come to Jesus. They don't work, not with him. And when I complain about that, your stellar advice is "If you beat your head against a brick wall, what gets hurt?" So I stop beating my head against said wall, and you say I should keep on doing it. Well I think we now know what I thought a narc hubs was normal anyhow... As IF I hadn't tried that a bazillion times already right? But in her mind it was such a simple fix. Just ugh.

It's horrible how the narc throws a tantrum when you say "NO" to them. The say disgusting things trying to demean and hurt you. It requires so much composer, patience and strength to stay calm to not react out to thier bullshit. Definitely demonic creatures!

I'm so glad you used that example of the "I'm calm" with the reactive abuse. This IS my husband's specialty. Or WAS, until I caught on. I can't tell you how many times he'd lie, I'd confront him, he'd be an utter ass about it because of course it was my fault for catching him and whatnot, etc etc. Lying is probably my #1 trigger and he knows it so he knew it'd get me emotional....and yes, to see him sit there and smirk and talk about how he was the calm one... I'm SO glad I caught on that the lying was serving a purpose for him. It was allowing him to paint me as the crazy, unstable one when I'd react to it...both in his own mind and in the minds of my mother and other flying monkeys he repeated it to. Now, I just assume he's lying pretty much all the time because it's about 50-50 and then I'm pleasantly surprised when not. If he is, I let him know I know and walk off. No emotion, no drama. It's amazing the peace I've found since I stopped caring about him or playing his reindeer games.

I married my dad. Both my dad and husband are narcissists! After years of being mentally and physically abused, I finally found happiness in God, and His son, Christ Jesus so basically my husband made me run into the arms of another man, Jesus Christ. My husband is so jealous now, and I am happy again! I also start a new job and will be saving $ in a secret account so that I can afford to leave. Thankfully we did not have any children! Thank you God for teaching me my worth in Your eyes!!

I WAS the girl that thought it was cool that my (at the time future) husband could manipulate situations like that to get stuff FOR ME. Let me tell you how it ends. It ends with me having zero respect for the man, because he doesn't believe in hard work, saving money, etc to support his family. If I worked, he bitched that I spent too much time there AND that there wasn't enough money but ALSO that I needed to quit and let him be the man. So eventually he wore me down and I did quit to watch the kids (no regrets), but now there's really no money and he bitches that I don't work and "it puts too much pressure on (his) income." Can I respect a whiny low-T man that thinks he shouldn't have to provide? I thought so when we married (and I hadn't really made that assessment yet because I was young and idealistic and stupid and had no legit guidance)...but I can tell you absolutely not. My dad worked 2 jobs for 5 years even though he didn't NEED to, to provide better teacher benefits for my mom when they both retired and/ or he was gone. My friend (let's call him work husband) works crazy hours (and I mean crazy) to provide for his wife and kids. My husband teaches elementary music, does a couple of hours of lessons a couple times a week, and spends the rest of his day sitting on the couch on his phone or computer "working." Except I know he's not working bc he closes his screen if I walk by...and also he used to have more to do and got it done without ever bringing it home...let alone having to work around the clock like he supposedly is now. And even if he is, for what? Not an extra stipend that's for sure...or if it is, the family sees none of it. But yeah, he's not working. He's sitting on his @$$. So that handy dandy manipulator that can get things for you? He doesn't understand being a MAN and working hard and earning a living and saving. He understands shortcuts and cheating people. He thinks he's entitled to other people's things, especially if he perceives they have more money than he does (never mind they may be ACTUALLY killing themselves at work to earn their money, unlike him). And he stops using that manipulation for your benefit real quick and starts using it against you. And worst of all, you realize you cannot respect him as a man, because he is merely a little boy. Peter Pan may be cute in a Dinsney movie, but he is NOT cute IRL.

I have and am now experiencing all of these tactics

God bless you totally understands it was like whenever you were the other person I totally 100% got you I understand all of it my name is Nova and I have borderline personality disorder and I've been in many narcissistic relationships.. at the present moment . Me and my partner come across a friend who I believe is a covert narcissist

The big thing with gas lighters trying to alter your reality or your perception is it's just like Satan. Satan always answers indirectly or in a projecting manner to take your focus off of what the Spirit is telling you and focus on the reality or perception he wants you to come away with. I can always spot people who have learned to think like the devil or play devil's advocate. You should learn to also and learn to get away from them because they're looking for you to change for them rather than coming to the table. You have to get away from them because they only want God as much as they think they have a fire insurance to keep them from going to hell. They don't actually love God. They're not heaven bound and they will hurt you. It's fun to them to hurt you and they will say, "I'm sorry" but they don't really mean it. They just want you to believe their sincerity even though it's insincere. They live to get rather than to give. That's the difference.